shit lah. i noe im not supposed to curse and all that but... i typed out a like what 2 page long entry. and suddenly the comp hangs and the whole thing disappears. whateverrr. anyways...
vanessa: van! its not that im calling you a weakling. its that i feel that you lack the confidence in yourself. and that you doubt yourself even before the new year comes. yeap. its that kinda thing. i've been praying for you.. and i believe that next year, you'll be able to do it together with God's help and our urging you to study. :) yeapp. you did it for physics EOY didnt you? you managed to pass.. (at least better than me.. sigh) yeap. why did you pass? cause you studied hard. and smart. so just use the same mentality that you did for physics EOY. and put it in use for the whole entire year next year. God will always be there.. walking behind you.. guiding you through the whole process. we'll all support you morally. the rest is up to you! believe in yourself (i know you will.)
beverly: heyyy. i can see that God really blessed you on your trip. and that He was with you all all this time. hmmm. even reading the words you typed sent a special sorta feeling up my spine. yeap. my trips to HongKong and Malaysia werent as adventurous as yours. but God still blessed us. there were like at least 2 accidents on each trip to Malaysia. thank God we werent in them. i just whispered a little prayer before each of our trip :) yeapp! God IS good.
hmmm. i also wanna thank God for alot of things. i had my down moments this year.. like when my hp got confiscated... when i was forced to choose between them comb chem/phy pure bio thing.. when i quarelled with you guys.. when my grandmother got hospitalized.. the list goes on and on. yeapp. but God still kept me alive and whenever i faced problems in my life, i just prayed to ask Him to let me resume normal life as soon as possible. and He really really enabled me to resume life asap. really wanna thank God for that..
prayer requests:
1. my grandmother who is currently on drip and will permantely be on drip. she almost died the day i went to hongkong because of water in her lungs. yeap. thank God she survived. but i pray that she will be able to withstand the pain she has to go through. and that her condition will improve. slowly but surely.
2. that my aunty will be able to get out of her financial difficulty. because currently she has to pay for part of the hospital bills together with my mum and my other aunty. so i pray that God will help her sell more houses (cos shes a housing agent) yeapp.
3. that the tackle box will be able to praise and worship God even when im in a unsuitable environment. currently, ive moved back to the commonwealth side. and the worship hall for youth is now catered for what 700++ people? but our current attendance is just 200. so the place is like a quarter filled. and its really empty. so everyone's like not used to the surroundings.. i know the motive is to ask us to bring more people to church.. to God. yeapp. thats what im doing now.. so ANYONE WANNA COME TO MY CHURCHH?!?!?! :D
4. that 3e6.o3/4e6.o4 will be able to adapt to our new environment. the new class room and all. and that we will be able to concentrate in class.. pay attention. do all our homework. and that in the midst of our busy timetable and schedule, we will always put GOD first in our lives. and that we will be able to adapt to the new school closing time (i heard its at 430. not official yet) yeapp. and that we will understand everything that we've been taught. we will be able to endure with the massive loads of homework, TYS questions, past year papers they are going to give us. yeapp!K
i wanna thank God especially for my wonderful friends. you all! thanks for being there for me.. for everyone when i/they needed youu. :) love you all to tons man. also thank God for letting my daddy (fake one) which is also celeste's psch classmate for accepting christ and who now believes in God :) Praise God for that.. thank God for letting ezra find a school? yeapp. and for letting ezra quit smoking and believe in God. really really thank God for that? cuz its kinda like a miracle that he'll ever quit smoking.. and i pray and hope that he'll study really hard next yearr. (at least thats what he said he'll do) yeapp. thank God for my mummy.. for being able to cope with alot of my crap. and my daddy. although im like always asking him to go away when im watching tv (cus he talks alot when hes watching shows) i still love him alot! like when my eye got hurt.. he immediately woke up from his sleep and drove me to hospital. was completely touched. my brother (eeeks.) forr urmm lets see.. always bullying me? and for building up my skills of self-defence? hah.. and thank God for blessing me with a wonderful family. thank God for letting me still have my eyes. thank God for EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD.
we are the reason that He gave his life
we are the reason that He suffered and died
to a world that was lost He gave all He could give
to show us the reason to live

and i finally found the reason for living
its in giving every part of my heart to Him
in all that i do every word that i say
i'll be giving my all just for Him..
i just love this song. well. wont be blogging much.. schools starting.. :) catch up with you guys on Friday :) lurve youu all!!
-


lucky u bev..cos for u u fell Him so strong.they say He is there even when u dnt feel Him..maybe its true..but hasnt it been too long already??there has to be smethg thts keeping me away frm His touch right??if not..how come..how can i not feel His strong presence..bwong said..i might have gotten all my piorities wrong..i asked God last night..but..i still havent gotten an ans yet..still i'll wait..cos He has His time..yepyep..im jus really hoping tht i really havent gone down the wrong alley..cos its gonna be a big u turn for me then..wad if u never knew u went in the wrong way??when all this while uve been thinking this is the way..this is the right way..cos im loving God..wad if it turns out wrong..i jus pray tht God will lead me back..i dno..but somehow i feel satan's interferring..its not cos i wana come up with an excuse..but..las night..i distinctively rmb saying to satan tht this is not gonna work cos he'll never get me frm my Christ..but now..i dno the reason why i said it..it was for some thot he tried to put in me..but..ahh ooh well..God 'll lead me back..i believe and put my entire trust in Him..
all im hoping for is tht 2004 will come now..soon..i kno its in a coupple of days..but 2003 hasnt been a wonderful yr..wana get up on it and ride my streak soon..sighh..and i dno.it seems to eunice tht im a weakling..tht i have very low self esteem..jus to let all of u kno..i regard myself with the highest esteem cos i kno with God i can achieve wad many cant..i kno im capable and its jus foolishness thts telling u im weak..im not being proud here cos God doesnt likeit..i jus wana say..alot of u are more of a weakling than i am.in fact weakling is not my wrd..u'll be surprise how much confidence i have in me when i gear up..my determination and strength will surpass alot of u..jus wait and see..i kno 2004 will be a grt yr for me..ive got a grt yr ahead for me..cos im walking through it with Christ..amen..
van kang
-


okay.. now. basically, the year is coming to an end and I want to take this chance to thank God for everything that He has done in my life, esp during 2003.. God has been really good, and my mum continually reminds me not to take for granted his goodness and mercy. yeah, so i shall start from the most recent- my trip. It was very evident that God was there with me on the trip.. basically. the first few days, i went skiing, in whistler. during the second day of skiing, it was really really foggy, misty high up on the mountains.. and i totally couldnt see anything a mile away, which was bad.. very bad. cos, the slopes that my grp and i were skiing on were really on the mountain and not on flat land, so it was really dangerous cos i couldnt see if there were any bends or cliffs.. what more, my goggles were fogging up like mad. So i had to continue skiing on, and I said a little prayer for God's protection because I started freaking out and by that time, i was already skiing at a high spd.. then came a cliff.. yes, and by the time it came into sight, i was already too close to stop and my mind was ust in a whirl, i didnt know what to do. yes, then i screamed to God and told Him to do something. Amazingly, i felt this supernatural power and strength and all of a sudden i came to a halt.. it was a real close shave.. phew. man.. i was shocked.. i thought that.. yeah, i thought alot.. and i felt God, i knew He was there.
If you guys remember.. there was this earth-quake in los angeles some time back.. it measured a 6.5, and i was there in la at that time and we were just driving out of the area thatt was hit badly by the earthquake, when it struck.. however, it seemed like we didnt feel it at all. and i was reported that the whole of la felt the earthquake.. so, it must have been God.
also.. i was due on this plane from las vegas to vancouver.. and the weather was really bad, thunderstorms and stuff.. so, as usual, my mum laid hands on the aeroplane and applied God's blood, and she prayed for us to reach our destination safely.. and we did, despite some major turbulences.. major ones. then the next day, we saw the news that a plane that departed from the same airport as us crashed due to bad weather and stuff on the same day as us.. just after our plane departed! man.. It was God again that brought our plane through the bad weather..
Next, God also protected my family and friends on the trip from terrorism, we were in lasvegas and there was news everywhere raging like mad that usa raised the terror alert to orange.. and they received some tips that las vegas and some other places had the highest risk of terrorist attack..yes, we were so scared, however we believed in God. And figured out that since God brought us all the way on this trip, He wont let anything happen to us.. So, yeah, He didnt.
Then.. there was the mad cow disease and the flu bug.. man, nothing could be worst than that.. Same, we left everything to God, we prayed and believed.. So true enough, nothing happened.
yeah, so God has been really alive and really tangible during my vacation and I wanna thank Him for everything, if not, Id probably not be sitting here, typing. So, I want to give Him all the praise and worship.. and guys.. remember, put God first in everything that you do.. it wont go wrong!
God's child..
bev.
-


okayyfirstly..CELESTE!!!!!!I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND I DNT WANT U TO TURN INTO A TURTLE AND HIBERNATE!!!!did u actually say tht??!!anyways who cares..bottom line..CELESTE I WANT U TO HANG ARD ME AND US..I DNT CARE...DEAL!!!AHAHAHHAHA..U CANT BAC OUT NOW..U SAID DEAL!!!!!AHAHAHAHAHA..
OKAYY I ACTUALLY HAVE NOTHG TO TYPE..IM JUS UP IN SPIRITS..IM THE HAPPIEST GIRL ALIVE..SO HYPE UP NOW..I JUS LOVE GOD..YEAH BABY..
VAN
-


CELESTE! I LOVE YOU! okay. sorrry we digressed a little. yeah.. anyway.

We'll be having a cell meeting on friday after school- the first day of school.
I was thinking that it'd be a great way to start the new year 2004 sharing about God and how good He has been to you during your holidays..
It'll be a sharing and prayer session.
we'll be praying for 2004 and every of your personal needs.
i havent told anyone about this, cos it just came to my mind.
So, I hope everyone reading this blog would turn up..
because
when two or three are gathered in God's name, there He is.
And I'm sure, it'll be really powerful.
love always,
bev.
-


BEEBS!!! THIS CLAU!! READ MY EMAIL BEFORE U READ MY ENTRY JUST BEFORE THIS!!!!! I DON"T WANNA REALLY SAY WHAT'S IN THE ENTRY!!!! But i do mean it. No offence please ... :P
DUN BE ANGRY!! PLEEESE!!! I WANN T THIS TO BE OVER AND DONE NOW!! IT'S A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING (on MY PART)
-


Beebs, there is nothing to face, because i was never angry. THe day before i found that "mistaken" entry, i had already decided to cut myself off from social situations. 22nd nov's entry just helped me to confirm that decision a little more. I didn't see a need to be angry because i wouldn't have to botther with it at all, being segregated from society...
Beebs, i find that you have never paid much attention to anything. I lose my temper over you a bit. FOr one (you won't remember this), the class website thing. YOu wanted to take charge of it or something. THen one day when we were all doing some lesson in the com lab, alot of ppl were asking me the location of the class web. I kept saying, "there is none. It's gone". After all the questions had finished, as if a turtle waking from it's winters' slumber, Beebs asked... "What is the class website?" Maybe, misunderstood again.
THis time... After exonerating exhaustingly about the exiguousness of my enragement, you say that you don't get why i am angry. I get why you dont get why i'm angry. Because i wasn't!
Beebs, had you read 5 posts earlier, before kang's numerous entries, you would have understood that i was just trying to clarify.
So here it ends. Perhaps, a satirical prediction of this occured oh so many nights ago on the 22nd, when the words chose to undertake a second, controversial, meaning... Haha...

Summing up,
I was never angry.
Beebs, My fault, I take the blame, even though no one is gonna attempt to wrest the blame from me.
Sorry everybody, i failed you. Stay strong forever. Maybe I won't be fine without you, but i hope you're fine without me.
Sorry, sorry sorry.
Sorry again.
Goodbye.. :)
-


Van.. don't worry so much about this blog dying. IN fact i was a bit scared last night that it might die because of me. (looks like that issue's over) SO well, if you're scared that we'll be bored of posting and it'll die, It probably won't, because there are at least 2 ppl who like to post alot. You, YOu and You. (oops that's three).. Oh well,i'll never forget this blog, for one thing (because it's taking up one whole slot on my "current blog" drop down menu) :P

OOOkay... THe crucial decision i've decided to make public is... I'm going to try to disappear from almost everybody's lives. I am a troublemaker, and when i make trouble for people, i make trouble for myself. So i'm gonna hermitise for one year. And see if i canget a new life in JC. I know this is not the aanswer to problems, but i'm not having any problems. YOU are having problems coz of me. Goodbye!
-


Eh. THat's what my first post was about. Asking what it meant. THis meaning or that meaning. ANd my first post on this matter was very convieniently pushed to a secluded little spot... Hahah.. Oh well, as i was saying, i'm not angry. It's not good to be angry. Hahah...
QUOTE

I really dont know what yo7u're angry about

End Quote
I SAID EXACTLY 6 TIMES THAT I WASN'T ANGRY!!!!!!! Hahaha.. NOw i'm angry, that u didn't notice that i'm not angry after saying it 6 times!!!!!!!
-


ahh! okay. i just returned & there were alot of things that I had planned to write, things to thank God for and some answers to vanessa's question, blah blah. But it seems like Ms lau, you're angry at me, that's one thing I can't figure out why.. and yes, i posted that "quote" of yours if you want to know what it means, I'll tell you what it means okay.. Now Celeste is gone -------- that's when you left for China.
so there's one less person in this family ------ because you left, there will be one less person in this "family" that was made up by the six of us, to update this blog! but you're still in this family. and yes, you are part of this famiily. I really dont know what yo7u're angry about. man.. okay, maybe my english was not up to your standard for u to understand it, I apologize for that... I'm sure God knows my heart. Anyway, what matters is that God understands right? ..I apologize for losing my cool but I never expected such an innocent para of mine would actually mean otherwise to you. I just have alot on my mind.. and alot that I had wanted to say, but I guess it's redundant now. nevermind.
beverly. --that's my name
p.s. pls give me a call, i'd rather we thrash things out.. than do these catty things..
-


Here's the deal that van didn't understand. It's not that ur thick btw, it's that I speak too cryptically and insinuate too much, leading to multitudes of confusions, and only myself understanding what i say.
THIS IS THE DEAL.

QUOTE

---

hey! YES we are starting this blog.. Many times I've tried to start one by myself but always never had the(what do u call that).. memory? to remember my password and never had that motivation to continue updating.. But, this time, I'm sure with the rest of my wonderful peeps(YOU), it'll spur me to update this. Eunice, this'll work out, I hope! Eunice, great job.. Now, Celeste is gone, so there's one less person in this family to update this thing.. Still, I'm counting on the rest of you to do so..
love..
BevWong

---

END QUOTE

AM I NOT PART OF THIS FAMILY!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?
Nevermind, as aforementioned, i am not angry. I am just calm. And one day you will all see me explode (KIDDING!). I am really calm and not angry. Haha.. you probably won't believe me, knowing my fiery temprement, but nope, i am not really that angry. No kidding.
Notice i didn't curse. Weak curses actually do fly from me pretty easily.... Alright.. am i trying too hard to convince you i'm not angry?? I'd better stop now.. (hopefully a smiley will help convince you)
-


hello..i feel as if ive got no life . coming on here everyday to jus at least make sure this blog survives . though i have pretty much about zit to blog o tell abt . sigh . when ive found normality . i'll be bac . for now . pls excuse my absence . i jus dnt feel well . sorry . clau . i guess its up to u . no pressure . its ur free will . tata . see u guys in . . i dno . . in sometime . when ive figured . byee . take lotsa care alrighty ? ? God bless .
van .
-


ehhs!!!sorry..cock-ed eyeso its u cel!!i dnt understand wad ure trying to say cos i think i dno wad u actually are reffering to..sorry..dnt wana be irritating and ask u to elaborate..ooh well if its me tht ure gonna tell bout ur decision then then i'll understand..but if it aint me..then i'll leave u be..sorry..being thick..
van
-


erm..whos the person who added the link??sorry..u din sign off so i dnt kno who are u..
anyway..ive got one biggie..in anxiety,are we doubting God??like when we are so worried abt smethg..or like u want tht thg so badly..u repeatedly ask God..are u doubting Him??because ive seem to have cultivated the habit of begging God..u wud too if u were in the same dire situationS..so am i doubting God??
and ps:can the person who din sign off common and say who u are..
and im kinda messed up abt "this meaning and tht meaning" thg..i dont get wad ure saying..sorry..damn thick..
van .
-


I am a little bit upset by
this (click) (opens in new windoe). (Oh kay, the link doesn't work, so it's 22nd november, the 2nd ever post.

Can someone tell me if it's this meaning or that meaning, Coz i wasn't in singapore at that time, and it could mean that, but there is another meaning. If it is the second meaning, please dun try to cover up. I'm not very angry about it, because i have already made a crucial decision, and i'm not telling anyone but someone.
-


currently i dno if the tears i shed are of my sadness or simply wad i have conjoured..i dno if wad im feeling is genuine or not..
p.s
to all who sms-ed me las night to wish me merry christmas..im sorry i din reply..and to all my frens..im sorry i din sms u all to wish u all a good time..perhaps i jus really cant be bothered anymore..when my joy of christmas was whisked away with the wind..im sorry..but tht doesnt mean i dnt care bout u all anymore..
God bless
and please
have a merry christmas
van
-


AaAaAAaaaAaaaA
JESUS LIVES! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Today I went to Elinanannana's church as we all know... AND MY GOODNESS!! I HEARD SOMEONE SPEAK TONGUES!! Wah!
ANd GOD was really there in the church, I could really feel his presence... Like when we prayed for forgiveness, and confessed our sins, i felt like there was someone standing very near, and all around. Like something was touching me. And there was no one there! Haha..
-


merry christmas . im sorry if this doesnt sound enthusiastic . but this does not measure up my sincerity . God bless .
frm van kang
-


WELLL.. it is done.. and it is NOT pretty... haiz.. i oso dunno what to do to make it nice... : ) Have a niceday ppl!! CHristmas in 2 days!! Anybody else wanna go to St. John's Chapel on wednesday? I'm going....
-


Oh well.. And here i am, about to set about doing the arduous task of refreshing the blog. I have no guideline, though i got alot of ideas, dunno if i'll be able to do... I'll try :)
probably you'll all see a half completed blog design that is not to anybody's taste the nxt time u log on, anybody...
-


WINNY DARLINGG!!!WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED TO TALK TO YOU NOW???????DAMMIT..U STUPID SHIT HEAD..U FISH BRAIN..I NEED YOU NOW AND URE STUCK IN INDO..WTH..CAN U FLY BAC NOW..IVE GOT PAINFUL SITUATION TO DEAL WITH..ONLY U KNO..BUT THEN AGAIN..IF U WERE BAC HERE BY MY SIDE READING THIS OR EVEN TALKING TO ME..I MIGHT JUS NOT SAY IT..COS U MIGHT JUS BE THINKING IVE FORGOTTEN..AHHS..BUT SOMEWHERE INSIDE OF ME I HAVENT..SIGHH..IT'S JUS THIS REALLY LIL TUGGING FEELING AT MY HEART..IN FACT IF I DNT COME ONLINE..I DNT RMB..BUT IN ANY CASE..IM STILL MISSING U..U FAT UGLY HIPPO!!!!CAN U JUS FLY BAC NOWW??PLS??I LOVE U!!MWAH!!
VAN
-


i was sitting in tuition class today..and i was wondering..wad christmas truly is abt..i mean..i think all the giving of pressies and receiving and wad nought..pple made it a custom..as in..they made this exchange something like a ritual..as in..like..its not the real meaning of christmas at all..i dno how to phrase it..like i dnt see the conection of giving eggs and easter bunnies with easter..it seems as if..the true meaning of all this events has been lost in the hussle and bussle[??] of gatherings..meeting old frens..a time to let down ones hair..i think admist this all..the true real meaning has somewhat been wrapped up,locked in some room with the key thrown away..so will someone find tht key and tell me wad the true meaning of christmas is..i mean..ive heard other pple say..including bwong..tht Jesus was born sometime in the yr but not on the 25 of dec..so right now..im jus not so sure..and one more thing..do christians believe in ghosts??okayy..aybe not believe IN..but believe tht ghosts exists??i do..cos i rmd a part in the bible tht said..the were demonic spirits tht attacked pple's souls??take possessions over them??so can i say..spirit=ghost..we're talking general here..as in..not seperating the good and bad??like some pple think ghost are bad..
to cel:
i dno if im talking crap a not..but i think the eating and drinking of His blood is like..i dno theres this verse..like when Jesus died and rose again..we were joined with Him spiritually..and we must sin no further cos we have to live life with..okayokayy..heres the verse..
so do u think tht we should continue to sin so tht God will give us more grace?no!we died to our old sinful lives.so how can we continue living with sin?did u forget tht all of us bcome part of Christ when we were baptized?we share his death in our , baptizm.so when we were baptized ,we were buried with Christ and shared His death.we were buried with Him so we could live a new life, just as Christ by the wonderful power of the Father."romans 6:1-4
read:all of us bcome part of Christ when we were baptized?we share his death in our , baptizm.so when we were baptized ,we were buried with Christ and shared His death.as in like the part abt us becoming part of Christ..maybe the eating of bread and drinking of wine symbolises tht part abt us becoming part of Christ..i dno..im jus guessing..mopping ard in the dark in hope of getting near the ans..yepyep..mere guessing..someone who knos abt this stuff..pls??enlighten us..
yep clauds..i guess change the layout..if u can find a hillsongs song..and most impt..a tag board..we are like not giving pple who read this thing a voice??yepyep..thnx..smuacks to cluads..
van .
-


I want to Church today, as in Elina's church, which is St. John's, which is our school church. ANd they had Holy Communion. Is that what it is? I didn't eat the bread or drink the wine, but it was still amazing, because last night i had prayed something like asking God to let me know why those really really faithful CHristians love Jesus and God so much. And now i am reminded, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in HIm shall not perish but have eternal life."John 3:16,
God loved us enough to give up His only Son so that we could bridge a gap that exists because of man's sin. And we drink the blood and eat the flesh of Jesus for something... What is that something!!! Help me!!!

And now i feel like i know very little, so i shall cease to speak of these things.

Christmas beckons. Always remember Christ(mas)=Jesus, and NOT Christmas=Santa Claus. (no, Santa does not belong to CLau)


P.S Alright.. By Vanessa's request, i shall do something nice for this blog. BUt i have no idea what you mean!!! Do what nice thing? CHange the layout or what?
P.P.S: DO not lie with a man as one lies with a woman, for that is detestable.
-


i never knew the seriousness of all this..i never knew..but now..i kno..i kno and i realise how grt God is..and how wretched i am..in the shower..i begged and begged..i begged tht You will let no harm come in my bros way..i went on my knees and begged..and when i found out tht korkor was safe..all i said was thanks and brushed the entire event of..wad is wrong with me..now..when i realise tht You played the whole part on this deal..i realised how shabby i mus have seemed to You..im sorry..but now..i give You great thanks..i want the wrld to kno..how great the Lrd Jesus Christ is..
van .
-


have u ever felt like this before??like when u wanted somethg so much only to realise tht tht something wants something else??think abt it..
vvv.
-


hello..yeap im bac..after las night..i thot i would never come and blog again..blogger sux..yeayea..and still..here i am typing away..but i guess nothg free is ever tht good..blogger definitly ate my entry up..i din press the wrong button..im jusmso frwaking sure abt it..yeapyeap..today..its the 18th already!!!damn..and my stack of hmw is still left untouched..ooh no..sigh..okayyokayy..anyone out there not intending on doing ur hmw???say aye!!!and dnt be a liar..cos liars go to hell..dnt say im not gona do it and yet on the firs day of sch..everythg is in order..dnt play with me..okok..i'm intending on doing chem and chi only..ive completed my amth..so basically..thts all im handing in..i dnt want ms wee coming after me..nono..no thank you..this yr was hell already with her always on my bac..sighh..wad can i do..im jus not a ching chang chong person..im sorry..for chem and amths..weelllll..i jus lo0ve those two subj..i kno i love bio too..but yarh..bio's too leh cheh..too much to write..and most of the time..the ques are the same..thts why bio is a given subj..ooh well..my resolution for nxt yr..start studying..thts all..and of cos improve my relationship with Jesus..besides tht..ahh..oh well..everyone and anyone..if ure reading this entry..pretty pls..do me this favour..if anytime nxt yr..im not handing in my hmw..smack me pls..as in smack smack..like 'piak'..yeapps..i'll start nxt yr..ahhahahh..my pet pgrase..start anytime but now..ooh well..but i guess ive gotta be serious this time ard.. dnt wana go screwing up my o's like how i screwed my psle..ahh..psle..tht was like...3 yrs ago??wow..time flies..still rmb when i was this puny lil thg..puny..but still loud..louder than now..i guess ive changed..matured..yea mann..ahahhaahahahaahhah..'children..go study..'yepyep..yaddleyaddleyaddle..ahh..the sweet sound of my voice..*YUCK!!*
kkaes..ive gotta run..to where im not sure..i guess bumming ard at my own hme yet again..and kor..if u ever read this..[most prolly not..so im save]IM SLEEPING ON UR BED!!!AHHAHAAHAHAHHAAHH..OOH WELL..though uve left for tht coupple of days..and uve made me cry cos i miss u..ur room has becomed my hse!!!guess wad..i din shower and im rolling with ur blankey!!!ahahahahahah.come and get me..asap..cos im missing u alrights!!smuacks..i hope u bought me my pressie..my ballerina musical box..ahhs..but i guess the greatest gift u could ever give me now is ur return..physically to me..and spiritually to the Lord..missing u..loving u..my big bro always..favian kangg..*yuck*im positively sure i jus said i love him..mann..ure driving me nuts..yep..only in my nuts state would i ever say i love u..sick..
van kang peishi .
-


guess wad..i blogged an entirely meaningful entry and its jus gone..gone..wth..im not gona type it out again cos i cant recall..currently..my eyes are screaming have meercy..but i dno..i dnt feel lke sleeping..i want to think abt smethg..but my minds atotal blank..im thinking why cant i think..i feel like im churning my own brain up cos nothg is materialising..i hate myself now..cos i cant seek refuge in thinking right now..i guess all im needing is some shut-eye..ooh well..nightynight..God bless..
van .
-


Thank God for Vanessa Kang, Beebs SHeeni and Eunice.
Kang for thinking and musing so much. Every entry she types in THIS blog has helped me realise or learn something new about Christianity and God.
THanks for beebs!! I can't pinpoint an exact thing to thank for beebs, because beebs ROCKS!!! Haha..
Thanks for SHeeni, FOR BEING SUCH A CRAZY CHEERFUL FRIEND!! she gIVES EVERYBODY presents at EVERY excuse :)!!
Thanks For EUnice, because EUniCE!! I have made eunice a describing word in itself, so from now on, it shall not have a capital e when used as the describing word. HAHA...
THank God for people basically... This world is full of misunderstandings, but if we take a little time out to try and understand things, you'll see what a wonderful world God has for us. If we humble ourselves, we'll see how much more there is in this world, and we're just insignificant beings, but still, each and everyone of us are important in God's eyes. THat is wonderful. And you 4 are very important to me too (along with a few more.. we all know who (VES) :P)
I remember on verse i read in the bible, something like "how can you say to your brother that there is a speck of dust in his eye, when there is a plank in your own" Or something like that. It's one of my more favourite verses, because it speaks to my heart. Why? DUn wanna tell you :P Ok i gotta go!! Correct me if anything i've said in this entry is wrong OK? Love Ya!!
-


yeapps clauds..thinking too much isnt gonna help me..but whos gona help me to not think so much?!?!i mean..perhaps its my character tht i jus dnt take anythg down without ques..and i guess tht is wads putting me in a disadvantage when it comes to matters of God..i dno..but i jus dnt get how pple can jus understand and absorb leran or wad nought without ques..its jus not my nature..honestly..i din even realise ure bac clauds!!!welcome!!heehee..hmmmnn..i did mentiont o mrs wong and ms chia tht u were in china..i think eunice did too..i guess we were tht insignificant..hahahh..i dno..but these few fays..i havent been laughing as i would actually be when i type hahahahah..i dno..guess i jus dno how to laugh for now..sighh..nxt yr..2004..i need to change..i dnt want to always be following the standards my bro sets..its time i start setting the standards ard in the hse..but another point tht i dnt exactly see is tht why isit competition in life is so vital..maybe not vital but rather..its ever occuring..sighh..sometimes i jus wish tht we did not need to work fr anythg..all we had to do was love God and we will be provided for..i kno thts the way thgs shud e wrking but..im meaning..the entire wrld worshipping Jesus?????when will tht day come??sighhwhoses faith in the Lord is as big as a mustard seed??noone..okayy..maybe 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000...........1% in the wrld has..but..yeapps..
i was jus thinking the other day..why pple had to have names..i mean..its like wad bwong said..tht pple jus like to put thgs in boxes and classify em..i mean..can u imagine a wrld where noone had names..u jus shout OOI!..and everyone turns to stare??yess..thts right i like to think..i love thinking..its like my hobby..and i realised jus how much cranes fasinates me..esp when its in the night..they stand so tall..lifeless..like ladders tht try to reach the heavens above..but ever futile..sighh..in the car today..my younger bro was yabbering abt religion..i think he was aking my dad why do pple go to church??well my dad said tht its a place where pple worshipp..like temples etc..but when i heard 'like temples..i was enraged..the hse of my Lord can never be compared to a temple etc..but cowardice was me..and all i said was..church is the place of God..its Hes hme..thts all..and then my bro was saying smethg like God was poor and satan was rich..for tht moment..i was so afraid he might turn to grow into those who worship satan..but the nxt sentene reassured me..he said this.."pray for God not for satan and all the other evil thgs.."perhaps he meant..pray TO God..and for..but at least he knew..tht God was the main point but not satan..but it struck me how vulnerable anyone who know not of the bible..tht a plank might be their god..tht satan could take on any form such as a carving and pple could still bow down to it..how vulnerable..and so it reminded me abt wad we christians were here for..to evangilise..
and also..i realised..how cowardly i mus have been..i have been praying to God abt giving e opportunities..and tht i could recognise them..today God gave..i recognised..but i chickened..i failed the Lord once again..shame me Lord ahme me..look at wad a coward i am..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
..as i thot of wad the Lord had said..tht children were innocent..they were honest angels..i was thinking of how this wrld has changed..are all ur younger siblings truthful..or have they fallen prey to sin..tht wadeva they said had to be considered doubious??who has robbed the children of their innocence??who thot them to lie??i guess...even as they pass through the stage of toddlers..to yapping young ones..their minds race before their time..finding..weaseling..and plooting all those lies..crafty u would say..but crafty??a child who has seen no more of the wrld than their small scope??who can comprehend..then perversions of this earth..noone else but God..but God forgives..so let Him forgive You..rmb..LET Him forgive you..
van.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-


updating yet another song of parousia. (: hmmm. it totally rocks.
you carry on even though you're broken
i dont need you is what you say
leave me alone i can manage
you shake your head and you walk away

all the hurting
all the fighting
you must be hiding a broken heart
take a chance and let him love you

wounded hands from up above
waiting with unconditional love
he is knocking at your door
so tell me what are you waiting for

take a step in the right direction
take a step and dont turn back
close your eyes dont look behind you
close your eyes and fall into his arms

ever searching never finding
i know what you're longing for
someone to trust someone to love you

wounded hands from up above
waiting with unconditional love
he is knocking at your door
so tell me what are you waiting for
arms reaching for your heart
accepting you for who you are
he is knocking at your door
so tell me what are you waiting for

take a step in the right direction
take a step and dont turn back
open your eyes and look above you
open your eyes and find his wounded hands.
-- wounded hands. (parousia)
-


i guess tht entry mus have been rather contradictory..wadabt my not giving two hoots and yet being so worked up..ayes..its jus two diff things..and if u dnt get it..probably ure jus thick..im too lazy to explain liao..i jus cant be bothered how i appear to u anymore.to anyone of u..i guess only You matter now..love me Lord..thnx..
vankang .
thnx for loving me..i'm loving You too..pls protect my big bro..hes overseas..and i love him to bits..pls give him Your protection..really..if anythg shud happen to him..let it happen to me instead..if anythg were to happen for anyone of my immediate family..let it happen to me instead..i dnt mind..cos i love them..and i love You too..
-


shit man..i dnt even kno where to start..firs of all..i jus shudnt have gone..i jus shudnt..wth..im not one of u..and i never wana be one of you..its jus sick..wadeva gave u the impression im forcing myself on u advance girls..wad?!?!??!im not another rebecca okayy??im not..shit..i kno u all din say anythg but tht was the msg i was getting..dammit..i feel like crying..why??and a certain ms choo was saying"can the two of u stop goofing ard?!?!ure wasting pple's time!!!"wth..isnt it my time too??if u dnt like it..then it jus really is too bad..u kno wad??u pple are nothing absolutly nothing..i promise u..im gona beat u flat..flat okayy??dammit..i dont give two hoots for anyone of u there..none..and wad was the entire car ride abt????after jenna and jea left..it was absolutly quiet..im not saying tht im minding tht ure not talking to me..its jus tht wth..i dno..i jus dno..i jus shud have gotten the msg tht u offered jenna a ride but not me..im not jealous..well to tell u the truth..i only wanted the ride to save my mom the trouble..im not trying to spike u here..but all i wanted was to save my mom the trouble..u kno wadd?!?!?im never gona go out for another outing ever..never..never u hear??dammit..i never wana be one of u..i never want acceptance frm u..never..im fine the way i am..im completely fine..im not gona change to suit anyone of u..i hate u pple..u all are far frm great..and if its greatness ure talking abt..jus u see..i'll achieve tht thiusands times better..im never going out with u ever..even if ms ho was present..never..im not an advance girl..imjus in advance class..never classify me with u lot..never..u kno wad?!?!?im not gona talk to u lot unless there's a need too..theres no need to be condesending..cos u all are never in the place to be..u have no right..if its anyone..it shud be me..i promise..u'll eat my dust..
vann .
-


Hello again!!
Err... this is kinda outdated, but as a beet of a followup to my superlongago question of "Do animals have souls", whoever has reader's digest, read the december issue for this year. THere's something about near death experiences and life after death. In it, it mentions that science DOES NOT accomodate for ANY little bit of soul in humans or anything.. ARGH!
SCienCe...... KJAgh;gajsnhr;a... gjkrswhlngasljknhlawr. Bleh!
-


Hi everybody...
Kang, dun say anything about this entry.
Kang, a chinese phrase for you, Look up Nan De Hu Tu.
DUn take life so seriously, Don't think so much, Don't get angry with yourself.
It's not easy, and takes a little practise, but everything will seem so much better after that.
If you know you're gonna have negative feelings about something, either lie to yourself, (it's better than lying to others, but is it still considered lying like LYING?) or tell yourself NOT to bother with it. It's not easy.
You need to take things easier on yourself. The world is NOT your fault.
Welll... maybe i'm not the person to talk about this, but
REMEMBER, DON'T say anything about this entry, coz i'm afraid of criticism :P
CLAULESTE!
-


hinestly..im going crazy..im talking to myself!!omg..and i dnt mean like reprimanding myself??shit..damn..seriously..i need help here..tsk..its so boring theres nothg to do here..nothg to do at hme..nothg to do online..damn..i hate blogg-hopping..its so boring..why do i wana read abt others lives??either i gawk with envy..or i get pissed off cos its not providing any form of entertainment..shithead..sigh..hello!!!!!!anyone out there?!?!?!?!!?can u blog abt more interesting stuff..aye..wad am i doing..im boring to..u kno??i feel so sorry for saddam..i mean..i think he's a nice man..and its with pple like him tht the wrld has more suspense..it becums a more interesting place..as in like u never kno when their gonna BANG you..sighh..dnt get me wrong i am not supporting terrorism here..read:NOT..its jus tht yarh..i dno..im jus blabbing..getting incoherent again..see!!!i always use the same wrds..mann..my vocab book is as small as an.....erm ...an ant??lame..i dno..i dno wad to say..all i kno is tht i feel as if im exploiting this blog!!!sick..i dno..im like using this blog to broadcast wad my pathetic boring life is abt!!!!i dnt care if this isnt exploiting to u..i dnt give a shit..sighh..im needing a thesaurus here..wait..i'll brb..great..i cant find it..ooh well..lets cook up some story abt me being eaten up by a gigantic monster..okayy..thts way lame..sighh..but im die-ing of bordem here!!!!!okayy..nvm..lets take it as u pple are retards..stupid brainless thgs..tht dnt kno wth a thesaurus is..okayy basically..a thesaurus is a dictionary..yeap thts right..a dictionary of synonyms..yesyes..understand??okay..tht was stupid..the ultimate among the ultimate..the dumbest of the dumbester..jus like how dumb and dumberer actually works..sighh..i think my writing skills are getting rusty..i need some oiling..okayy..i may sound like im trying to say.."heyheyy..i used to write real well..jus outta prac"well..i am not saying tht..basically..i suck at languages..and i dnt have the slightest idea why am i even keeping this blog exhibiting my lousy lang skills..but wth..at this rate im going..i'll most prob fail my o's..yeapp..retain..ahahhahhahahh..and repeat sec 4 over and over andover and over and overr.........yeaps..thts the point im driving at..hahahahah..why am i so lame??u kno wad..i think i kno why..
"DADDY!!!.....WHY DID U PASS ME THE LAME-O....................??!!?!?"
FINE I GET THE PIC..THT WASNT FUNNY..oops..yeapps..most of the tiem..i jus get so caught up writing..i jus write and write and write till at some point..i dnt give a hoot tht somehow..somewhere ive lost the reader..i mean look at my past entries..like dont u go "HUH??!!" after reading em??i realised how bimbofied and bimbotic i most have seemed in my past entries..but ooh well..blame it of bordem..
"GOD..pls give me somethg to do?!?!nono..pls give me some funn???i dnt wana clear my hmw pile..currently..guilt isnt working up jus yet..thnx..amenn.."
van kang .

-


hihoooo..heehee..bwong..i thought u said u were gona blog??okayy..nvm..hmmnn..okayy..currently..i am really busy..im really busy with bordem..as in yeapps..ive been going out..but its always with the same person..no offence jenna..but its starting to bore me out..yeapps..u see..if im gonna continue going out wiht jenna..the both of us are gonna start going at each others throat..i mean..seriously..im bored jenna..hahahahahhah..yeaps anyway..heehee..why am i laughing??weird..im scaring myself..oh no..stop it vann!!okayy..im getting freaked..i so am gonna advertise myself now..anybodyy!!!wana take me out?!?!?!?!??!!??!?!?!shit..did i jus say tht..yeayea..i did..but wad can i do..all the pple i wana go out with are either busy..cant make it..or simply dried out..sighh..i am so pathetic..hiax..ive got so many thgs to do..but i dnt wana do them..sighh..i jus got the wildest idea..if only God would come down and take my hand and say..lets go out!!omg..i'll be like...okayy..mann..and wadeva skirt He picks out for me..im gona buy it..ahahhahahahahahahsighh..-gag-i dno..maybe i should go out with myself..never tried tht out b4..yeah maybe t..maybe its jus peace and quiet tht im needing..ahahhahahahah..yeapps..maybe shopping on my own's gonna do me some good..lets hope..provided i can survive it..u see..i can never suvive without teasing anyone..sighh..but the whole big prob is..everywhere..ITS PACKED..packed like sadins mann..sick..okayy..officially..im asking everyone out there..GO HOME!!!!STOP GOING OUT!!!URE RUINING MY MOOD!!GO HOME..DNT COMEOUT AT ALL..UVE GOT LOTSA THINGS TO DO!!!!STAY AT HME..yess..im sucha brat..but really..how can anyone shop with like mills and mills of pple milling ard??like..they jus sit there and do nothg..absolutely nothing..nothing else but take up space..hello???can u sit at home..then there u can stone..noones gona be there to cramp ur style..yea thts right..sit at hme!!!!!!!!watch tv..kill time there..dont come out..i want to shop..i need to shop rather..sighh..they say when ure sickof orchard..ure sick of life..am i??no im not..not sick of life but sick of orchard..im wishing singapore can extend its shores and grow somemore shopping centres..yess..and grow quickly..wth?!?!?!??!?!ahhs..blabbering gibberish..
blabblabblab..van kang .
-


hmmmm. i think u really will LOVE parousia's songs. its DAMNNNNN meaningful and nice. (: hmmmmm. *hUgs* im doing fine without a phone now. -thankfully- hahahas. really must thank God that at least i memorised the number yeah van? yeah. thanks God for giving me some obstacles to go thru. (: yeahhs. it kinda helps. ezra went to church ytd. yeah. praise God. although he said it was boring. but at least he went. he hasnt been smoking for abt a week. yet another thing to thank God for. (: yayyys. hahas. i'll try typing out more parousia's lyrics. im not allowed on the comp now. no phone for mie. no comp. yeah. and pray for my left eye. it has an ulcer in it. yeah. (: yeapp! im not gonna wear contacts till im like 18? yeahh. i guess so. (: YEAP!!!!! my church has moved backk! PRAISE GOD IT WAS SUCCESSFUL! LOVE YOUUU ALL TONSSSSSSSSS! missing bwong loads. :(
-


BOO!!!!ahahahhaahhhahah..currently..im on high..dno why either..heehee..on cloud 9 yea baby~~ahahhahahahahah..shhhh..maybe im on estacy..omg..did i jus say tht????ahhahhhahaha..shhhhhh..ooh mann~`im beginning to sound like a bimbo..yuck..im nonobrainer..nehnehninehneh..okayy..i think im nuts..wadeva..
anyway..yuppyups..i have absolutely no idea wy im here right now..i dno wad to type..jus felt like dropping by..heehee.i feel like going to the arcade man..daytona..woohoo~~heyy..im a pro at driving kkaes??ahahhahaha..NOT..damn but its fun..yeap..and bishi bashi..ohh mann..i wana go arcade..anyone wana take me??ahahahahwadd am i doing advertising??wad the hell??isnt this suppose to be a blog abt Christ..fine..in the spur of the moment..yaddleyaddleyaddle..yeap..
ive been rather wishy washy abt my bible reading and prayers recently..sigh..someone shud start condemning me..then at least i'd kno how to be grateful and start reading the bible proper...sighh..las night..i was.."dear God ..give me understanding.."i read less than a chap..din even reflect..then wham..nightnight..wadder...kkaes..i wont swear..sighh..God..pls punish me..but lightly..i jus wana learn my lesson..kkaes..tonight..i will read it proper..but instill in me the yearn to read can??cos i kinda do thgs based on feelings not based on wadd i shud be doing..yeqapps..
BWONGGGGG!!!!!HOW ARE YOUUUUUUUU??!?!?!?!?!?!??!HAVE U GOTTEN ME MY PRESSIE???????ahahahha..jkjjk..narhhs..reallyy..how u doing??i hope ure having funn over there..and u kno wad??im missing winny hassan!!WINNY!!!!!!OOHH WINNYYYYYY!!YOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO...........ARE U THINKING OF ME TOO??damn..ahahhahaha..i majorly sound like some despo flinging myself at everyone and like..i seem like those who seem to think the entire opp sex is in love with me..ahahhahahaha..noo..im jus missing my frens..and nov!!!i havent forgotten u!!!grrrr!!!u make me angry..wadeva..ahahahhahah..okayy..im positively sure im high on high now..sigh..i really miss my frens now..jus wana tell u..i love u guys..smuacks..God bless kkaes??see you ard..
vann.
-


dammit..i feel like crying..but why shud i shed tears??i dnt understand..yest it was bwong..and she jus was leaving for a hol..thts all..and i also wanted to cry..why am i such a crybaby??why??u kno wadd..i think its frens tht are making thgs so tough..yess..its frens tht are making thgs difficult for me..its tht frens are a burden..its not tht..its jus..i hate liking u only to cry bcos u make me hate you..i suppose this only applies to real true frens..i dno..but i dnt regard every single one off those ard me tht are supposingly close to be my true fren..i dno why..u kno wad??i think frens are there to make u happy..but ultimately in the end..she's only there to make u cry..maybe im wrong..but im not asking for ur comments..i dno..but cryings worth it..shedding every single tear for u all are worth it..i dno..i really dnt..i dnt kno wad i dno abt..wad is wrong with me??
yes..i feel tht the lyrics tht unice posted mean alot..like a while bac..i told somebody..tht i so afraid of losing sight of God..i jus dnt want to lose Him..as in..i kno wadeva i do..He'll never leave me..but..wadd im saying is tht..i dnt want to get caught up and all..caught up abt being of the wrld tht i forget Him..i never want tht day to come..cos i love Him..i really do..i love Him bcos He loves me..and by the way He loves me..it is so grt bcos..i can never out-love Him..yess..its like giving 1cent and recieving millions and millions and millions and millions and mill....................bac..i dnt ever wana lose sight of You God..sometimes its not jus You tht i doubt..i doubt myself..abt being able to love You and concentrate on You..sometimes.im jus so afraid..im heading the wrong way with thgs concerning You..i dno..my dream God..my dream is tht one day..i'll muster enough courage to dance to glorify You..to dance and take ppl's breath away..some pple say 'thgs like i think xoxo is better than u..'but bcos You are almighty..You put others on earth to say thgs tht make me feel good.tht boosts my esteem..and the thg is..these pple tht say these nice thgs are..i feel genuine abt wad they say..i thank You for tht..i guess..tht is how u put the balance on earth Lord..yeaps..
i was reading the bible yest..and i wondered..issit right for pple to only love God bcos they want eternal life..cos they dnt wana go to hell??cos they want the rivhes of heaven??issit??i dnt think so..i think u shud love God bcos..He loves You..He made You..and everythg else but not love God for wad comes..as in..issit right to only wana do good so tht u will get rewarded??like only do charity cos u want to win a prize??or recognition??i dnt thinik so..its like righting for the wrong excuse..yeapps..thts wadd i think..well for me..im loving God alrights..but i dno if its for the right reason..but i'll work for it..in fact..i dno wads the reason im loving God..im jus loving Him..yeapps..i love Jesus..
van kang .
-


shit you man nov..i hate u..u fool.like wadderhell..am i supposed to cry??i dno..im jus fuming thts all..
mann..why mus nov leave??im gonna miss u..damn you..im sorry okayy??i jus dno why..wads so nice abt sas or wadeva sch ure transfering too..wads so nice abt em..wad abt us..are we jus gona fade as u move on??like..when u think of us..u say:'ooh..they were pple of the past..'WAD THE HELL???!!'thnx..i dno..jus thnx so much..im sorry if im jus making things difficult..maybe this is jus a step tht brings u closer to ure future..but if thts the case..im hating every step u take frm now on..why mus ppl leave??why?!?is this jus some kind of joke..like someones gona pinch me and i snapp out of coma??wadderhell..i dno.i kno angers a sin..but im jus fuming..i hate it tht uve gotta leave..perhaps its all a mix of emotions..i dno..but trust me nov..im not gona make ur departure easy..bcos u are not making thgs easy for me..im gona be super nice to you..im gona cry like shit when u see me..jus so tht u'll regret this step u take..i promise you..and to all those who are reading this..dnt come lecturing me abt wad i said..im being nice now..back off..cos if u even attempt..i wont give a damn who u are..cos its my emotions..its how im feeling abt a fren whos leaving..go away if u dnt like the way im putting myself through..its none off ur business then..and to nov..most probably u wont be reading this..i still hate you..but deep down..i'll love you forever..God bless..
vann.
-


what. novita's transferring!? i think to SAS lor. hmmm. ive got some meaningful lyrics frm this christian album (parousia) that i bought today. yeah. im gonna type them out. although like no one will read them. cuz ur on holiday. yeahh. here goes:
ive been in this dark and lonely place for so long
the cold, it surrounds me
i try to be strong
this shadow is haven
and its here i'll hide.
but im losing the fire that once burned inside
part of me just wants to be all alone.
completely isolated in my world
but my dreams have now faded
i must now start anew
so longing to flourish
i now turn to you
flame flame burn brighter
dont go out dont go out
i want to stay on fire
flame flame burn brighter
dont go out...
parousia's web
enjoy their music (: buy their CD at trumpet praise at PS. b2.
-


okay. those reading this.. listen up and start sobbing cos.
Novita wont be coming back to smss next year, she is transferring school, to where? I am not sure..
yeah, she just told me and that was a wonderful Christmas present I got from her. aww. so sweet.
Sob sob. I'm so sad.. my great friend! I love you.
bev.
-


since uve been so nice and prayed for all of us liao.i shall do smethg different.i shall sing all of u a song!!!!ehhs.i mean every single wrd kkaes..well..here goes..
*ahemmmm*
"i love you!!u love me!!we are a big happy family!!with a grt big hug and a kiss frm me to u!!wun u say u love God too!!!!!"
yea baby~~
mann..im so gonna miss u bwong.really.really.yupps.sighh.schs gonna open soon.i dno.not trying to spoil anyones mood.i'll pray for u bwong.i will.i'll ask God to protect u with my life.kkaes??u tc kae??love u loads.see you ard..byee..
vann
-


ahh! I hate my brother. he just sucks totally. he is so rude, esp that Im supposed to be his elder sister. He's so violent. he'll just plong his whole disgustingly muscular body infront of mine and wave his blobs of biceps/triceps or whatever infront of my eyes, and i'm not amused by that at all. not a single bit. man. if only someone could teach him a lesson.. and __ i've tried walking away before, it doesnt work anymore.. Ahh! i cant tolerated him anymore. but i have to admit, despite all his idiosyncrasies and overly-muscular demeanour, I still love him. and i cant bring myself to hate him. everytime, this hate never lasts longer than an-hour.. yeah, cant help him. sometimes, i feel irritated with myself, because i just cant bring myself to show him that attitude.. I'm sure the rest of you feel that way towards your siblings too right? yeah. so i'm leaving tomorrow and i feel so bored at home. And i have to constantly fight with my bro over using this dumb box that is losing its appeal day by day. still, besides sitting infront of this machine and typing words, what else can I do? ..please, dont remind me of homework. I'm gonna be in deep shit. oh, one more thing.. if Ah-min, you happen to see this, which i hope you will, I apologize for what I said and stuff.. yeah, it was the spur of a moment lah.. was feeling so flustered the entire night tht i pissed off afew of my other friends too.. So, sorry bout that okay. hope you'll forgive me. okay.. yeah. pls pray for me.. journey mercies and stuff okay.. thanks. God bless. I WILL miss you guys, yes, i'll miss you vanessa and eunice.. God bless you guys always. Oh, I also wont be here for Christmas, so I wanna take this oppourtunity to wish everyone of you a very

Blessed Christmas
May God bless everyone of you richly acoording to his riches and glory.
Van: I pray that you'll continue growing in Christ and strengthen your walk with Him each day cos I'm sure you're gonna be someone powerful in the things of the Lord, I know He has great plans for you..
Eunice: I pray that you'll put Christ as the centre of your life and look to Him for strength to overcome every endeavour.
Ah-min: I pray that you'll find peace, comfort, joy and love from God the almighty in every day of your life.
Sheeni: I pray that God will take care of you and your loved ones, and give you His peace that passes all understanding.
Celeste: I pray that God will give you wisdom & understanding in reading His word and give you the passion and yearning to want to know Him.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Love always.. always.
Beverly Wong
-


MAN! I'M SO ANGRY, SO SO INFURIATED. Go to this website and you'll know why i'm burning.. http://www.friendster.com/user.jsp?id=3907300
yes.. now look at the pictures.
okay.
I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYONE MAKING A MOCKERY OUT OF MY GOD.
I WILL NEVER. NEVER. NEVER EVER.
yes. so I sent that guy a message and scolded him.
I told him that I despise him and that God is almighty, so no one sholud ever dare make a mockery out of my God. and that God's wrath is totally intolerable and it's more than any of us can imagine.
yes.. I dont care if he starts blackmailing me or whatever.. I'm willing to stand up for my God.
Jesus, please forgive them for they know not what they're doing..
Amen
Bev
-


okayy. yeah. babies. okay. i dont know what to say. err. yes vanessa. I totally agree that you've changed and grown totally in the things of God, and I'm happy for you.. totally happy. Praise God that u and you're mum are okay.. somehow just dont feel like typing too. anyway, you probably wont see me blogging for the next few wks cos i'll be on holiday.. so. God bless. bev.

-


ok. maybe this layout is a bit lame. but i think its the best i can find so far. (: yeap. so bear with it kkae? (:
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Thursday, December 11, 2003

sighh..the bloggs not looking nice..honestly..i dnt really like the layout..too dark..and too jammed up..so yupps..i dno..
i jus talked to this fren..i dno..i tried to tell her abt God..then she went..
:"ohh my God..ure so holy now??last time u were like.."where's God??He doesnt exist.."
so yarh..i realised how much ive actually changed..but yarh anyway..i told her..God will never forsake you for any reason..its abt whether u wana accept Him or not..so i told her tht u can start talking to Him whenever ure sad..but you have to believe tht He can work in you..so she was like..how sure are you He exists..i was like..somethgs seem too impossible to happen but if u ask God and believe tht He will work in you..plus provided tht He thinks its good for u..the impossibles will become possible..so its basically miricles like this tht proves someone is up there looking down and caring for u..yarh..i dno..sudenly din feel like typing..so i shall sign off here..
van.
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Thursday, December 11, 2003

hhhhmmmmnn..
now it seems to be my turn..why issit noones blogging anymore??awww..ooh well..nothg muchs happening now..just tht..yarh..God's making me feel soooo much better..me and mommy's are fine now..i jus wanted to say...
I LOVE JESUS!!!!!!!
VANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Tuesday, December 09, 2003

hello!!sorry..ive been away for camp larhs.thts why cant blog.ooh..i need to tell u all this b4 i forget.
at the camp.this fren of mine.she told me abt a certain church she goes too.they use magic tricks to i guess'lure'pple to the church.i dno.but i think tht i wrong.i dno.really.my other fren was like.but sometimes they do illustrations to 'lure' pple wadd...i had nothg to say.but i jus felt it wasnt right.i dno.wad do u all think??????
i dno.i kno im typing loads of 'i-dnos' but yarh..i really think im a horrible christian.i dno.im jus feeling very very very lousy now.i dno.i feel as if.i dno how i feel.sad thts all.sighh.ive been this listless lately.im gona have a good chat with God tonight.i feel so guilty.i din read bible last night and i din pray either.i feel so horrible.i think i deserve death right now.i dno wad im typing.im jus feeling very sad.guilty.can someone help me??God can You help me??pls??im jus feeling so.....so...i jus dno how to say it.im sorry.
im sorry guys.i dno why.im sorry im jus all wrong..i love You Jesus i really really do.i still do.pls.help me..
van.
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Saturday, December 06, 2003

dont know why, but it seems to me that you guys are either busy or maybe, updating this blog no longer appeals to you as it did a week ago.. But, nevermind. I'll continue doin so, I feel that it's my duty to at least spread the word of God, through this blog. Okay, I hope I have the support of the rest of you. Anyhow, I wanna thank God for everything.. I mean, I somehow feel that God has brought me closer to Him through many ways, I one which is the posting to STMicroelectronics for my work experience.. It seems like God revealed many things to me, through my colleagues and now, friends there. I also thank God for the chance of letting me talk to this guy who is twice my age about God.. Debra, if you happen to be here, it's giraffe.. haha. Yeah, he kinda told me that he believes in God, but he doesnt feel that he is a Christian. That got me thinking.. Then, I probed for the reason.. He said it was because he hasn't found a church to settle down in. And before I could start persuading him to come to my church, he had to leave for a meeting.. sigh. Okay.. then I started thinking.. To me, it didnt quite make any sense, but I thought that Christians are called Christians when they believe in GOd, or am I wrong.. dont know. Just cant comprehend a 30-yr old mentality.. I also wanna thank God for the people that I met in ST, Debra, i'm sure you also felt that way. Those ppl are really nice, and I had real fun with them. Basically, I kept disturbing them went they were all busy typing away and trying to concentrate on doing their work. haha. Until I found my match.. I started chatting with this guy who is really humorous and stuff.. okay, I shouldnt go on, I guess you guys must be wondering why I'm sharing this with you guys.. okay. I'll just stop here. I hope everyone is feeling good, but I somehow am getting this negative feeling.. hope I'm wrong. I just wanna thank God for bringing Alex, one of my so-called mentor to motivate me loads.. yes, thank you, Jesus, and thanks Alex.
Eunice.. I'm sure God will help you,
GOD BLESS.
bev

-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Saturday, December 06, 2003

This is a forwarded e-mail that I've got a long time ago and I wanna share it with you guys..

Subject: Fw: Pay attention to the P.S. you have to read all the way through
Read and think !!! WE DO NOT WANT THE DEVIL WE WANT AND NEED GOD !

Sent: Sunday, June 29, 2003 4:13 PM
Subject: FWD: Pay attention to the P.S. you have to read all the way through

PAY ATTENTION TO THE P.S.
Letter From the Devil
This can really make you think. It actually made me mad while I was reading it,
but I had to send it because of the P.S.
This is deep... and I wasn't going to forward or share it, but that last line...
you'll see.


A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. You awoke without kneeling to pray.As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I like that about you. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living, Fool, you are mine. Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I still don't love you yet. As a matter of fact, I hate you, because I hate God. I am only using you to get even with God. He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay him back.

You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell. That way, we'll be together twice. This will really hurt God! Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life with all of the good times we've had. We have been watching dirty movies, cursing people out, stealing, lying, being hypocritical, fornicating, overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, being judgmental, backstabbing people, disrespecting adults, and those in leadership positions, no respect for the Church, bad attitudes.

SURELY you don't want to give all this up.
Come on, Fool, let's burn together forever. I've got some hot plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I'd like to say "THANKS" for letting me use you for most of your foolish life. You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in HA HA HA, you make me sick. Sin is beginning to take it's toll on your life. You look 20 years older, and now, I need new blood. So go ahead and teach somechildren how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that. Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess you sins, and live for God with what little bit of life that you have left. It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, it's becoming a bit ridiculous.
Don't get me wrong, I still hate you.

IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.


P.S. If you really love me, you won't share this letter with anyone.

chill.
bev________________

-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Friday, December 05, 2003

yeah van i understand how you feel. TOTALLY. like when my bro punches my leg, which really hurts. yeah. i shout out I HATE YOU. but i dont really mean it. yeah. then i start praying that he'll not be so violent as to hit me. cuz it really hurts! yeap. so my bro treats me better for the next few hours. [so i wont tell my mum] yeah. but after like a day or so? he continues. so the cycle repeats itself (:
ookkae came across this.
WHY JESUS IS BETTER THAN SANTA CLAUS.
Santa lives at the North Pole ...
JESUS is everywhere.

Santa rides in a sleigh ...
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.

Santa comes but once a year ...
JESUS is an ever present help.

Santa fills your stockings with goodies ...
JESUS supplies all your needs.

Santa comes down your chimney uninvited ...
JESUS stands at your door and knocks, and then enters
your heart when invited.

You have to wait in line to see Santa ...
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.

Santa lets you sit on his lap ...
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.

Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is
"Hi little boy or girl, what's your name?" ...
JESUS knew our name before we were born.

Not only does He know our name,
He knows our address too.
He knows our history and future and
He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.

Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly ...
JESUS has a heart full of love

All Santa can offer is HO HO HO ...
JESUS offers health, help and hope.

Santa says "You better not cry" ...
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you."

Santa's little helpers make toys ...
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs
broken homes and builds mansions.

Santa may make you chuckle but ...
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.

While Santa puts gifts under your tree ...
JESUS became our gift and died on a tree.... The cross.

We need to put Christ back in CHRISTmas,
Jesus is still the reason for the season.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only
begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not
perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16



There are so many things that represent Christmas...
Like Wreaths

And Candy Canes

And Christmas Trees

And Santa
And His Elves
And The Reindeer
And Frosty

And Other Snowmen
But sometimes we lose sight of what Christmas is really all about... It's about sharing and giving...It's about being with your family and loved ones...and it's about celebrating the most important day in the history of mankind....
Happy Birthday Jesus!
ok. so now the christmas-y mood has came to me. >.< hee. got all these frm fun forwards. i think they're quite meaningful. although crappy. yeah. and van. dont say i dont blog anymore. AHHA. enjoy!
-

Eunice Ngbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Thursday, December 04, 2003

sigh..i havent been blogging so much this days..i dno..but ive been going through an entire period of ups and downs..i guess its pms..i dno.im jus letting my moods swing..not bothering whether wad i say hurts pple or not..i jus retort at every single chance..like..ive been shooting at my mom..and i fought with my bro las night..i hope God shames me..i mean..i kno very well..[when one hits u on ure left..turn and let him hit u on the right.]dont fight bac.i kno very welll thts wad God said..but i never follow.why am i so wretched??sighh..feeling down again..ive been like a sobbing child lately..like las night..i jus cried to God again..i dno.but i told God i forgive bro.and i told God i kno.nothing anyone does makes them worthy of His love.but at least.i could make myself a better child by following His words.i felt like ive fallen frm grace.like i deserve death right now.but i dno.i dno how our Lord can actually sacrifice His Son for me.for us.i guess no one can ever understand.i dno.i jus feel so bad abt myself.sighh.i dno.jus perhaps.God bless
van.
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Thursday, December 04, 2003

i told leste abt the blog.
yes bwong!!
me too.
in fact i cried so much las night.all i did was talk to God?
never read bible.
i keep fighting with my mom.
van kang.
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Wednesday, December 03, 2003

are u sure thats celeste? hmmm. maybe its van. hmmm. me duno. but i din tell leste about this lehhs. ahhas. welcome bwong (about the prayer) (:
-

Eunice Ngbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Wednesday, December 03, 2003

dont know why, but I'm getting this whole wave of emotions.. feeling dejected, feeling striated, feeling fustrated.. sigh. eunice thanks for your prayer.. I really love you! and if you're accusing me of being a l**.. then I wld say that you're really shallow because love is definitely more than just lust.. Anyway, vanessa. regarding your question, I havent answered it in my past entries becos I didnt feel anything.. no flow or no connection to it, Nnothing. not that I've been inconsiderate or whatever. I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about. and dont worry, I'll ask my mum about it, read the bible and ask God to reveal the answer to me.. okay?
Celeste.. is that you? I guessed as much. haha. okay. harry potter is bad because it's about witchcraft. and of course, witchcraft is bad, really really bad. practising witchcraft is like practising the works of the devil..
“Rebellion is as bad as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as bad as worshiping idols� (1 Samuel 15:23 NLT).
saw it? ..the sin of witchcraft. And harry potter has all those weird-looking creatures.. or are they freaks? yeah, they look really demonic. No, it doesnt mean that all the fantasy novels and fictional writing is bad. Of course, it depends on the content... Like if the content is about witchcraft or magic or demonic/ghost(stephen king) stuff.. then it'll be bad. If it's parading those naked beings, i'm sure you guys know which category it falls under right? ..or do i have to spell it out to you? oh, my pastor said that Lord of the Rings is also bad.. dont know why, I havent watched that show and I dont understand a single of that show.. Come to think of it, what is LOTR about? i've got no clue..
do animals have souls? I dont know.. I'm neither an animal nor an animal specialist nor an animal creator(if tt makes sense).. So i really dont know if animals have souls. but, come to think of it, No. i dont think animals have souls.. If they have souls means they will either go to heaven or hell when they die. but they dont. So i guess, they do not have souls..
vanessa, i'll try my best to find an answer to your question okay.. pls be patient..

the verse that i want to share with you guys today..
“Don't love the world's ways. Don't love the world's goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world--wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important--has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him� (1 John 2:15-16 The Message).
BE IN THE WORLD BUT DO NOT BE OF THE WORLD.. (It's stated in the bible)
May God give us wisdom to understand His words..
Bevbevbevebevbevbevbevbevbevbevbevbevbevbevbev

-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Wednesday, December 03, 2003

I Am HERE! See? Me! Lame!
Beebs, can you explain again, why harry potter is bad?
And if harry potter is bad, doesn't that mean that alll fantasy novels (read: Lord of the Rings) and fictional writing is bad?
And why don't animals have souls?(do animals have souls?)

-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Wednesday, December 03, 2003

WAD HAPPENS BTWN AFTER DEATH AND THE START OF RAPTURE??!!
--- ok van. that's your question right?
1stly. i cannot answer it bcos i duno whats rapture >.< yeahh. sooo sorryyy. urm. ask bwong?
-

Eunice Ngbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Wednesday, December 03, 2003

oh.u kno wad?my ques is again left unanswered.unnoticed.its not as if its the attention im craving.more of the ans.dont ask me wads the ques okay?go check it out urself if u have the consideration to do so.ahs wadeva.
van kang.
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Tuesday, December 02, 2003

yes, as long as you believe in Jesus and of course obey His words and commandments, I believe you'll have eternal life. But, who knows for sure, maybe God has some special criteria for us to meet in order to be able to enjoy tt priviledge.. ONly God knows.. And Eunice, my dear, I'm sure for certain God answers prayers, it's just a matter when we'll see those prayers answered, in a sense tt you might see it manifested palpably in a long time or immediately. That's why, for me, I feel God's answer seems to be taking forever and then, I'll classify it under "prayer's that weren't answered".. which, now looking back, is crap. yeah,eunice, we'll be praying for him. So, he's the guy that u wanted to convert right..?
and, van. I didnt actually mean that God put these ppl on earth to die... that statement is only an opinion.. I said tt it seemed like.. blah blah. So jaded now..
gotta go. anyway, to (someone) I DONT GO TO CHURCH TO SEE GUYS!! I GO TO CHURCH FOR GOD!! AND FOR GOD ONLY!! haha.. i go for the adult service, so most of the ppl there are working adults.. NO CHANCE to, even if i want. haha. but I think there's more too life than looking for the right guy..
love you guys and I LOVE YOU, JESUS.
bev
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Tuesday, December 02, 2003

ive got a question. issit true that as long as you believe in Jesus, you'll have eternal life.. or is it that you have to be a christian then you'll have eternal life? so as long as i believe Christ answers prayers, and i believe he exists, i'll have eternal life? b'cos my friend is afraid of going back to church. he's too ashamed of what he did.. anyone.. answer me please? can u all pray for him too? cause i think he wants to go back, but he isnt sure.. so please pray for him ok! he's name is ezra.
-

Eunice Ngbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Tuesday, December 02, 2003

replying to ur tag abt me saying tht the blood of God washes away all our sins..
u see jenna..
dont u realise tht in the bible it is stated tht over and over again.the fith tht u have is the most impt thg??okay..lets take the all so faamous phrase..
'for God so loved the wrld..He gave His only Son so tht whoever BELIEVED IN HIM shall not perish..but have eternal life.'
so u see..Jesus died for the wrld..but its whether we want His blood to work in our lives or not..and to bev..i would wholely disagree with ur statement abt God putting this pple on earth to die..no..God gave everyone a chance bev..but i guess..as u said..they chose the recognition of frens..instead of God's..yarh..everyone has the right to choose..if tht person chooses to follow God noone can deter him..even if it means him losing his life..so yea..for the sake of God..if u comply..u'll be blessed greatly by the Father..amen..
van k....
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Tuesday, December 02, 2003

OOI!!WAD ABT MY QUESTION..AM I THT NON-EXISTENT TO U ALL?!?!?!?!

WAD HAPPENS BTWN AFTER DEATH AND THE START OF RAPTURE??!!
HELLO!!ANYONE THERE..WHY U ALL ANS ONLY MY FIRS QUES..SOMEMORE IS JENNAS QUES..WAD ABT ME!!HELLO!!MY QUES..IM DIE-ING OF CURIOUSITY HERE!!FINE!!
'GOD I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN..I SHOULD HAVE ASKED U FIRST..HMPFT..CAN U HELP ME??PLS??AMEN..'
VAN KANG STORMMINGGGGGGGGGGGG
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Monday, December 01, 2003

we'll let the Bible, the word of God clear all doubts.
firstly. In one of the ten commandments, it's stated that "you shall have no other gods before me". it's also stated in the bible that "the wages of sin is death". So, let's interprete this.. being a muslim or a taoist, or what have you.. you are having another god besides the true God, and this is a sin.
Secondly. God stated many times, that if you believe in God, then you'll have eternal life..
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John3:16
Romans 10:9, "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you shall be saved."
..and many more, pls refer to the Bible.
the thing is that you have to believe in God in order to be saved.
jenna, you said about not having the chance to convert or not having the chance to hear of God.
I'm sure everyone no matter where you're from or what you are.. must have heard about our God. and i think that there's no such thing as not being given the chance to convert.. I mean, yeah, i know the situation for muslims, but what to do? the devil made it such that if they decide to seek the correct God, then the "whole world" will be against them..
yeah, it's sad. It seems like these people were born to die.. but God gave them a lifetime to choose. and the chose the rocognition of their family and friends, by leading themselves to eternal burning in hell..

also..
fate n.

1. The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.
2. The inevitable events predestined by this force.
3. A final result or consequence; an outcome.
4. Unfavorable destiny; doom.
5. Fates Greek & Roman Mythology. The three goddesses, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, who control human destiny. Used with the.

..nothing about God.. so do you guys still think it's something of God. I dont know..
Lord, guide me..
Bbbbbbbbbbbbb



-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Monday, December 01, 2003

hahaa nini ar. dont HATE. just dont really like. thou shalt not hate. (: hahaha.
-

Eunice Ngbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Monday, December 01, 2003

heey! sheeenity heeere! hahh! thanks to van i noe how to come here...i went to like blogspot! how bluurr! hows everyone! im feeling so tirred now..with all the upcoming events all the last minute stuff to do..feel like im going to stop breathing any moment!! anyway to all out there...i profess my hate for SAS! yes! sheeni tay! get me if u can! super pissed!! haai..and to ms ho! sighh...my grandmama's b'dae tooday...gave her my first pay..event hough i havent get it yet..but still the thought that counts...had fun..miss ya guys! hope to go out soon! ity family forever!!!
--sheenity*
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Monday, December 01, 2003

lets see..fate..i dno..i guess fate is wad God has planned for u..like u kno pple say 'resign to ur fate' u cant change wad the Lord has planned for u..yess..i guess thts wads fate..
p.s. i stand to be corrected at all times..
vann???????????????yes..van!!!!!!
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Monday, December 01, 2003

okay..so in btwn the time they die and rapture..where will the dead be??[christians of cos]
im feeling very scared now..ive 4 pple whom i love so much to convert..sighh..it will happen..i'll pray to God..
as ive said in the tag board..theres no need for atoning..bcos with Christ in u..the blood of Jesus washes away our sins..u mus be repentent..tht is it..repentent and be filled with the will to do good..of cos the main point is Christ larh..
vankang..
-

Anonymousbelieves with God; everything's alrite.Monday, December 01, 2003